He towers over me, eight-feet of heavy muscle crammed into a case of scarred, grey flesh. He sports a nasty burn on his face (a gift from me from our first encounter), and a gilded, crown-like helmet (a gift from his superiors, after our second). He leans down heavily on his crude blade, pushing my own honed edge closer to my throat.
“Gravewalker,” the Uruk Captain says, “perhaps this time you’ll have the sense to stay dead.”
I hate this guy.
WORDS. HOW DO THEY WORK?
Hello, lovely readers! As you may or may not have noticed, it’s been a while since I updated here. A long while. Five months to be precise.
That’s far too long, though there have been reasons for the absence. Regardless, I will be rectifying that from now on! First though, let’s talk about what I’ve been up to since I’ve been gone, because gosh darn I pay for this space and if I can’t pimp my own stuff here, where can I?
It was inevitable. Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag had me piloting Edward Kenway and his crew through the perfect blue waters of the Caribbean for days, and it was only a matter of time before I just had to go for a swim.
Unfortunately, this little aquatic jaunt turned out to have a profoundly disappointing effect on my immersion in one of my favourite games from 2013.
I ranted about EVOLVE only a few days ago. To me, it looks like the cat’s pyjamas. If that cat was twenty feet tall and spouted fire, and ‘pyjamas’ was an obtuse euphemism for tense, tactical bloodsport.
Now we get a look at a full in-game match between monster and man.
The new trailer released by Turtle Rock Studios probably isn’t that difficult to make for someone who knows how it’s done. I don’t know how, though, so to me this is the shiniest YouTube video I’ve ever seen.
*Carefully bakes a cake*
*Lights all the candles*
*Lovingly hums a birthday tune whilst inserting cake into CD-drive*
*Screams. Flames. Regrets*
*EDIT – Raffle is over. Congratulations to the winner*